Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
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@Cobalt Do you have resources to access a different doctor? It’s hard as hell in the US if you’re under 55. It took 4 years and two attorneys, but I qualified at thirty. If there’s anything I can do to help or support you while you try to navigate a walking talking nightmare designed to make everyone fail, I’ll do my best. I’m so, so sorry you’re stuck in that loop. It’s awful.
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Disability is hard in the US to get. A lot of people get denied and then have to get a disability lawyer. You can sometimes get help at legal aid. Sometimes.
I’m more curious - how does your work determine you are too broken? They can’t/don’t want to make accommodations?
Mind you, this is all your private information so you don’t have to share, I’m just curious.
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@Cobalt said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
I’m too young to get disability according to my doctor
I don’t know your specific situation, but this smells fishy. Even children can receive disability benefits in certain situations, and anyone over 18 can qualify (though as others have said, it is tougher when you’re younger). If a lawyer is not an option, there are disability advocacy organizations that can offer advice/support. Good luck!
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@Jenn you’re a doll. Right now I’m in the first stages of applying, so I’ll reach out.
@RightMeow My job wouldn’t give me disability accommodations until after I passed a mandatory 5-week training, despite passing twice the necessary testing with flying colors (like top 1% scores) and having 100% metrics in customer service. And cut me because the first time through training a medical procedure (nerve block on my spine) had me in agony for a week, and then the second time I got bronchitis but that’s “temporary” so they won’t cover that time. I can’t go back to my usual fall back of pizza delivery because I can’t stand, walk, bend, or lift enough to be able to function and do the job. But I also can’t find a work at home or desk job that will accommodate the autoimmune arthritis and degenerative disc on my back flare ups.
@Faraday My rheumatologist told me I was “too young” and basically accused me of trying to get onto disability so I could use it as early retirement. That she saw people who were supposed to be housebound but would be out going on vacations and stuff.
This was said directly in front of my mother in law who was furious about it.
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@Cobalt said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
That she saw people who were supposed to be housebound but would be out going on vacations and stuff.
omg, how dare someone on disability ever enjoy life for a few days, the nerve
that mentality is so goddamn prevalent and exhausting here.
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I applied to a kennel tech position somewhere really amazing.
… but in the midst of my two week notice at the grooming place, I partially tore my rotator cuff so I couldn’t work my last week. I resigned. Now, I’m not sure if I have the physicality needed for my new job until I’m cleared by medical people. I wanna just grrr-arrrgh my way through it, but I’m told rotator cuff tears are like the Wu-Tang Clan.
🫤
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@moth said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
I partially tore my rotator cuff so I couldn’t work my last week.
Oh nooo, I’m so sorry!
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Insurance is a joke, and I’m not laughing.
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I feel you… 16k+ to replace our heating/cooling system, and insurance will not even pay the water remediation portion of that.
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the documentary I participated in finally has its first Coming Soon teaser clip up on Netflix and to say my anxiety and relief are both through the roof is understating it. they’re in like goddamn orbit somewhere.
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@moth I tore my rotator cuff sleeping back in 2019. Sleeping. Basically woke up one morning unable to reach behind my back with my right arm.
The MRI of my shoulder was so painful, I ended up screaming at the tech at around the 90% mark. “Just four more minutes!” she said, and I, already in tears, shouted, “NO!” And then I got scolded. And then I had to get another technician to help me get dressed because I couldn’t put on a shirt or a bra by myself.
Doctor was satisfied with the images that she got. Did 8 weeks physical therapy. Still wasn’t better. Did surgery (without a second MRI because the orthopedic did not want insurance second-guessing him). Did another 4-6 weeks of PT.
Currently have full range of motion and no pain. Hope you also have a good outcome.
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Get another doctor.
Also, the proper response to off having vacations is: Awww, that’s cute. Tell me again how you became a doctor so you could actually help and not judge. No, really, I’ll wait. Could you not hack your law degree?
But seriously, get another doctor.
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@RightMeow I’m planning to discuss it with my primary soon. But yeah, it’s super fun having a deteriorating spine in your thirties and all the doctors see is my age and my weight which is 100% caused by the spine since my health went down hill including my weight after I was no longer able to walk.
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@Cobalt uuuuuugh fatphobia is the worst
I’ve probably told this story before, but I once started having a lot of trouble breathing. My O2 saturation was in the high seventy percents; if you’re not familiar, most people become deeply irrational if it dips below ninety, so I guess I should be proud I was still on my head. Went to my PCG, who did no examination of me and said, “You’re too fat to breathe. You need to lose weight. Here’s a prescription for weight loss pills.”
It got worse. I ended up having to go to Urgent Care. The doctors there took one look at me, said, “Oh, you’ve got bronchitis,” and gave me a few days of steroids. I was right as rain before the day was out.
I mention all this to really hammer a point: fatphobia kills. If your doctor is fatphobic, drop them.
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Therapist told me they’re resigning today. Next month I’ll have had my fourth new therapist in 4 years.
It’s not their fault at all. I just can’t help but feel frustrated at having to rebuild trust from square 1 so many times. And on an irrational level, I worry that going through so many doctors means I’m a problem that keeps failing to be resolved.
I’ll be fine eventually. I just don’t feel okay right now.
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@Dreampipe said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
I’ll be fine eventually. I just don’t feel okay right now.
If we can do anything to help support you in keeping the brain weasels wrangled while you re-establish with a new person, please reach out!
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@Dreampipe that’s so hard. Mental health care is so hard. I feel this.
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I know we haven’t interacted much. I’m here if you want to vent though. If you just want to mind spew and have no response – hit me up too. I know for me (I can’t speak for others) sometimes it’s good to just type it all out and get it out of your head so you stop replaying. Just make sure you tell me you were spewing and not to reply so that I don’t.
I’m sorry you are feeling this way.
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@Dreampipe said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
And on an irrational level, I worry that going through so many doctors means I’m a problem that keeps failing to be resolved.
So long as you do what you can to use the skills and strengths you’ve been taught/learned about, you’re on the road to recovery. I know that just sounds like an extra burden, but honestly you’re the one doing the work, your therapists are just showing you how you can.
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I love my work. I love my coworkers. I love my company.
I hate my boss.
She just came back from maternity leave, a whole month earlier than she’d planned. It’s been five days and so far I’ve broken down in tears in a meeting with my favorite teammate once and woken up at 4AM without being able to go back to sleep because of anxiety twice.
I don’t want to leave. I’m going to have to figure out a way to leave, because this is going to be terrible.