Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
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@Hobbie yeah that sounds like a nightmare! There’s only so much you can do as a friend, and I think just about everyone would struggle having to deal with that, especially when it is a consistent pattern. Hopefully this will relieve a lot od stress in your life. I hope cutting out people who dont add much to your life but that level of stress ahd disappointment gives you a little more peace!
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@Aria Small update here, the angel cat I’ve been speaking about got into a territorial dispute on my driveway at 2AM today that woke my wife and I up. With it being so early in the morning and noting the pattern of activity, I can now solidly argue that the cat has been abandoned. I’m going to be looking into trapping her for her own good.
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@Hobbie This sounds a lot like what my friend’s ex said about him…
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We got a verdict.
Termination of parental rights.
We tell the child Friday, and goodbye visit is the 24th.
I’m slowly trying to build the girl up to it by dropping hints like “Caseworker doesn’t want to see us at home.”
“Caseworker wants me to come home for the visit this time so both of us are there.” (Often just one of us is home for them because the other is at work.)
“It feels like this visit is going to be different.”
“I can’t wait for you to come to my middle school!!”
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@junipersky Just so I am clear, because my brain wants to be THAT WAY, today, it was in your favor? If so…
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@dvoraen Even if it is in their favor, it’s still a day that is deeply mixed because of the pain and trauma that is associated with it. Every adoption is a broken family, even if it’s in the best interest of the child. There is no adoptee without adoption trauma, and the same goes for natural parents, even those who voluntarily gave up their parental rights. It absolutely is a special day for their family, and also it is one that likely comes with other emotions as well.
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When you make a bigger payment on a credit card debt, but it doesn’t count as making the monthly payment because it cleared an hour before the system ticked over. And you have to make the real payment still as a result.
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Yeah, it went the way we were hoping. She has said goodbye to her parents until she is after 18 (or they can prove to us they are clean and stable and that relationship can be reopened therapudicly).
Now it is a long journey of waiting for them to decided any appeals and/or the judge closes the books completely and clears them for adoption.
It is a lot of mixed emotions. I’m so happy to have her away from the confusion of visits that don’t go well. I’m so sad she can’t go back to healthy parents though. That is the purpose of foster care and it wasn’t achieved this time.
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@junipersky I am glad you’re finally through. Appeals very rarely do anything in these cases.
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My work informed me today that they figured out how to deal with one of our major issues at work, and in doing so, are throwing work/life balance in the trash.
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Having to pay out of pocket for laser cataract surgery. I clear my credit card debt to cover it. But the specialist wants payment via direct debit. Which my credit account does not do.
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One of my student’s parents called me racist multiple times last night in the conference.
It wasn’t even one of the crazy parents. It was a perfectly nice one. So it came out of left field.
We’re meeting tomorrow with the principal as interpreter, not a district one, or worse with apps because the translator didn’t show up, and I’m hoping we can figure things out, but I also just have this pit of dread in my stomach.
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@junipersky said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
One of my student’s parents called me racist multiple times last night in the conference.
It wasn’t even one of the crazy parents. It was a perfectly nice one. So it came out of left field.
We’re meeting tomorrow with the principal as interpreter, not a district one, or worse with apps because the translator didn’t show up, and I’m hoping we can figure things out, but I also just have this pit of dread in my stomach.
Hopefully it’s put down as a learning moment for you as a teacher. Finding out you’ve been messing up something after the fact can be stressful as all hell. But if others knew and didn’t help correct mistakes, They’re the assholes.
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We still don’t fully understand why she said racist multiple times, but we were able to meet and talk about her kid and his progress so I’m going to call it a win?
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@Wuff said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
@junipersky said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:
One of my student’s parents called me racist multiple times last night in the conference.
It wasn’t even one of the crazy parents. It was a perfectly nice one. So it came out of left field.
We’re meeting tomorrow with the principal as interpreter, not a district one, or worse with apps because the translator didn’t show up, and I’m hoping we can figure things out, but I also just have this pit of dread in my stomach.
Hopefully it’s put down as a learning moment for you as a teacher. Finding out you’ve been messing up something after the fact can be stressful as all hell. But if others knew and didn’t help correct mistakes, They’re the assholes.
As a former secondary school teacher (we don’t do middle school out here), though in a different country, I can also see such accusations being entirely baseless or based on misunderstanding/misreporting. Especially if you’re teaching something to do with history, or even English grammar.
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I got my only accusation of racism as a school counselor over schedule changes, and upon investigation, realized where it came from. I was denying schedule changes according to the written policy, but certain students (mostly wealthy and white) appealed over my head to a vice principal who made the schedule changes they requested, so it very much looked like some students were receiving favorable treatment (which they were, just not from me).
Unfortunately, there was no denying that the school and district had issues with systemic racism, which made it understandable that parents would become frustrated.
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On the tail end of catching, spay/neutering, and medicating ~10 non-feral cats that our aunt left behind loose on a family property. Really, really tragic circumstances, both in the awful conditions that she had been living in — conditions our parents, aunts and uncles were aware of and didn’t intervene in, which has been difficult to come to terms with — and the state of these animals. They’ve all been treated and paired off for fostering, with one special case still scheduled for surgery. Trail cams up to catch sight of any stragglers. Jesus fucking christ, what a dark chapter to come out of. Wish 2026 was offering time to deflate, but I guess that’s not the vibe.
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@helvetica They can’t say thank you with words, but I will. Thank you for helping those furry babies.
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Took kiddo to the fair last night. She is too tall now for the little kid rides.
I hoped we had one more year. -
@junipersky My niece’s 13th birthday is tomorrow. I’m not prepared and yet as the aunt that colors my hair in vivids and owns a ton of makeup and stuff – I’m completely prepared. She’s come a long way from the 8 year old asking me to read her the boob chapter in the ‘my body’ book because you know, I have bigger boobs than the other adults around her so I must understand them better.
Noted: I will remind her of this story tomorrow.
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