Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent
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@Hobbie yeah that sounds like a nightmare! There’s only so much you can do as a friend, and I think just about everyone would struggle having to deal with that, especially when it is a consistent pattern. Hopefully this will relieve a lot od stress in your life. I hope cutting out people who dont add much to your life but that level of stress ahd disappointment gives you a little more peace!
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@Aria Small update here, the angel cat I’ve been speaking about got into a territorial dispute on my driveway at 2AM today that woke my wife and I up. With it being so early in the morning and noting the pattern of activity, I can now solidly argue that the cat has been abandoned. I’m going to be looking into trapping her for her own good.
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@Hobbie This sounds a lot like what my friend’s ex said about him…
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We got a verdict.
Termination of parental rights.
We tell the child Friday, and goodbye visit is the 24th.
I’m slowly trying to build the girl up to it by dropping hints like “Caseworker doesn’t want to see us at home.”
“Caseworker wants me to come home for the visit this time so both of us are there.” (Often just one of us is home for them because the other is at work.)
“It feels like this visit is going to be different.”
“I can’t wait for you to come to my middle school!!”
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@junipersky Just so I am clear, because my brain wants to be THAT WAY, today, it was in your favor? If so…
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@dvoraen Even if it is in their favor, it’s still a day that is deeply mixed because of the pain and trauma that is associated with it. Every adoption is a broken family, even if it’s in the best interest of the child. There is no adoptee without adoption trauma, and the same goes for natural parents, even those who voluntarily gave up their parental rights. It absolutely is a special day for their family, and also it is one that likely comes with other emotions as well.
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When you make a bigger payment on a credit card debt, but it doesn’t count as making the monthly payment because it cleared an hour before the system ticked over. And you have to make the real payment still as a result.
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Yeah, it went the way we were hoping. She has said goodbye to her parents until she is after 18 (or they can prove to us they are clean and stable and that relationship can be reopened therapudicly).
Now it is a long journey of waiting for them to decided any appeals and/or the judge closes the books completely and clears them for adoption.
It is a lot of mixed emotions. I’m so happy to have her away from the confusion of visits that don’t go well. I’m so sad she can’t go back to healthy parents though. That is the purpose of foster care and it wasn’t achieved this time.
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@junipersky I am glad you’re finally through. Appeals very rarely do anything in these cases.
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My work informed me today that they figured out how to deal with one of our major issues at work, and in doing so, are throwing work/life balance in the trash.
