MU Peeves Thread
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No matter how nice the staff and how clear the expectations, there’s always going to be people (and maybe a good amount of them) who just won’t feel comfortable speak out. And some who are happy to speak out vociferously about stuff that is right there in the lore/files/policies as being Just Fine. Maybe before I got old I might have had more of a SHOULDA expectation about this, but I don’t have it in me now.
So if someone needs to leave, then that’s fine. They’re not less bad ass for deciding that it’s not worth the aggravation of confronting someone who might be dumb as shit or a major tableflipper or like maybe they’ve had circular conversations with their teenagers/kids all day RL and just don’t want to have to go in AGAIN on the game and do it. I don’t think anyone’s saying they have a problem with it.
I personally might speak up if it’s important to me and I feel it’s important to push past the discomfort, and I don’t think things have pushed past the threshold of going to staff first. But when dealing with someone who’s making an experience uncomfortable for me, I just don’t feel obligated to do more than step away most of the time. I appreciate when others DO feel motivated. But I’m tired and these days I have enough unpleasantness to deal with that I think carefully about what kind of potential nastiness I choose to take on.
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Like most MU* peeve conversations, this one has become exhausting. No one is less than for wanting to leave a situation without confrontation, no one is a super saiyan slut for wanting to TS, no one here is promoting purity culture or whatever because we don’t want TS in our face 24/7.
Just do you, keep it consensual, and don’t be dicks. Because we’re still banning dicks.
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can i state clearly that my peeve is that @helvetica DIDN’T name and shame, so i’ll now never know what game is doing this so i can get a minute of laughs?
but to be clear, i don’t MU* anymore so i don’t need a name and shame, because i am not joining the game anyways.
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@bear_necessities said in MU Peeves Thread:
no one is a super saiyan slut for wanting to TS
TY for the character concept.
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@Tez just don’t get confused for a super satan slut!
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@bear_necessities said in MU Peeves Thread:
@Tez just don’t get confused for a super satan slut!
Thank you for MY next character concept.
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@Pyrephox And here I am left with super satin slut.
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@Snackness @Pyrephox @Tez wow I can’t wait to be made uncomfortable by you all when I dip into some casual bar rp and you try to sit on my character’s lap for no fucking reason
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@bear_necessities Understandable. Have a nice day.
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@helvetica said in MU Peeves Thread:
@Snackness @Pyrephox @Tez wow I can’t wait to be made uncomfortable by you all when I dip into some casual bar rp and you try to sit on my character’s lap for no fucking reason
It’s even better at a coffee shop.
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@helvetica At least I’ll just slide right off.
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@bear_necessities said in MU Peeves Thread:
super saiyan slut
My Tabitha ‘Boom-Boom’ Smith sense is tingling.
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@Meg said in MU Peeves Thread:
but to be clear, i don’t MU* anymore so i don’t need a name and shame, because i am not joining the game anyways.
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I’m pretty tired of kink culture. I am not pro-kink. I am unabashedly anti-kink. I used to be the former, but now I’m the latter.
If the stated goal is to help people set clear and comfortable boundaries that others ought to respect, then I don’t think kink culture accomplishes that.
And I know, I know what the kinksters will say: ‘What are you talking about? Clearly you don’t know anything about us. We’re all about RACK/SSC, no one does healthy communication and boundaries better than we do.’ I know because I used to be one of you, and I’m not anymore because I’ve come to realise it’s gaslighting.
Kink should be like hoisin at a Vietnamese restaurant: optional. There if you want it, not forced, expected or frankly even normalised. But what I actually think kink culture has become is more like chopsticks, you’re a bit weird if you turn it down. We’re at a point with sexual liberation where I really think we’ve gone the opposite direction, because I actually so rarely see slut-shaming anymore that I’m always surprised to encounter it, and when I do it’s always swiftly called out. What I see a lot more of nowadays is prude-shaming, with kink culture as a sort of public contest: everyone competing to show off just how weird and wild and DTF they are for the cool points, and people who really aren’t comfortable with this stuff expected to laugh politely and play along. I’m not here for it.
If we’re pro boundary setting, then simply start with the expectation that people aren’t cool with it, it being whatever weird sexual thing you have in mind. Don’t try and pressure people into it even through the more subtle yet still very insidious tactic of turning it into some kind of social currency or moral badge. ‘I am so liberated, don’t you want to be liberated like the other sexy girls?’ I think that advertising kink is appropriate in exactly three places: websites/groups/meetups specifically built for that purpose, dating sites, and private conversations with a potential partner.
And then there is also the very alarming trend I can’t help but note of people dressing up all kinds of transparently abusive behaviour as “kink” and then expecting that to exempt them from criticism, or to let them reframe such criticism as immoral and tantamount to queerphobia or whatever. Many kinks, even when “consensual” in the most technical sense of the word, are in fact exploitative and prey on the low self-esteem and poor mental health of vulnerable individuals who need help and not an enabler. I feel comfortable judging someone who feels the need to control or dominate someone who’s never learned to say “no” or to consider their own wants beyond pleasing other people as a source of self-worth. I also can’t help but notice that a lot of these “consensual, happy, this is just our kink guys” D/s couples end a couple years down the line with a traumatised victim coming out and finally admitting they were pressured into it and abused. Damn, who could’ve predicted that someone whose whole shtick is needing to control other people, and whose preference is for people who don’t talk back, would’ve turned out to be a piece of shit.
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@Kestrel uh is this still a mu peeve
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Well. Someone hand me a rake, I guess I’m now officially ‘you kids get off my lawn’ years old. Back in my day even Shang didn’t have this much public sex.
Rip. I just wanted to play Mage again.
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@Roz Not to speak for Kestrel, but the only people who have ever demanded that I respect their kinks regardless of my own level of comfort or consent have been on MUs, so I’m willing to believe it’s a MU peeve.
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@Roz said in MU Peeves Thread:
@Kestrel uh is this still a mu peeve
Considering all the pro-kink talk on this thread, it’s both.
Like, how many times have we seen it happen in the MU* community, where some well-known predator was confronted about their actions, and the response has been, ‘wow guys, it’s just my kink! I’m not a baddy for wanting to randomly page people asking them if they’re into all my kinks, or surprising people with them unprompted! You are all just kinkshaming me.’
