MU Peeves Thread
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“let’s all be nice” is a tool of silencing. i think it’s not always intended that way, but sometimes it absolutely is less about actual concern for others and more about that person calling for that being unable to tolerate their discomfort. i think that’s fine outside of the rough and rowdy section. but within it, i’m going to be just honest here with my personal opinon–i think pushing keep sweet on people is being an asshole here.
enforce respectful language. call out hypocritcal stuff. that’s needed. keeping sweet is not, and should not be. maybe my feelings are inappropriately raw for this. i am trying to be respectful, but i’m not feeling kind and i’m not a bad person for not feeling kind about this. IMO.
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Agreed entirely. Anger is as valid an emotion as any other, and in trying to suppress it entirely, we only hurt people. Of course examine your reasons for why you’re angry and if your response is appropriate to the situation, but sharp language and harsh criticisms absolutely have their place, and that’s honestly the whole reason for this section of the forum.
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@mietze said in MU Peeves Thread:
for many reasons both mush related and not i’m really sick of the “keep sweet” mentality that is often pushed on people who push back when someone is being ugly. it’s honestly rather repulsive to me. i’ve had to deal with a lot through most of my life. i don’t feel particularly bound to be kind to someone who threw shade at a game runner about being irresponsible because the game didn’t last for the amount of time that they thought it would and then even insinuated that maybe they shouldn’t have made the game in the first place because of that. along with the ‘hmm if you’re not perfect maybe you shouldn’t say anything because you know you’re both not perfect’ stuff. that kind of stuff should have died in the 90s and i think it should be called out bluntly every single damn time.
The specific thing of a game closing down “too soon” has always baffled me, too. Like, I’ve never played a tabletop RPG that ended with a triumphant conclusion at exactly the right time for all players to feel like it was time to stop. Every game I’ve ever been in (as GM or player) has eventually stopped way before ‘its time’ because of…life things. Schedules no longer lined up, group blew up, GM burned out, whatever.
I also don’t regret a single one of those games. I HAD FUN while it lasted. That’s all I ask. If I want a complete story with a clear beginning, middle, end and coherent plot, I write a book.
Play the game, enjoy it while it’s there, appreciate your fellow players for their contributions, move on when it dies. Way more happy times that way.
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@Pyrephox yeah. i think i have such an aversion to that attitude because it’s just so…myopic. especially since usually i’ve found the same people who have some weird entitlement to a game not closing because they’re not wanting it to are also often the first to complain about the lack of new games for them to try. with absolutely no sense of irony.
i remember how just…really disgusting people were when one of my favorite games closed. like i ‘grew up’ mushing in the 90s so i’d seen a lot of self-centered stuff but to see how many people were writing up screeds on the discord (or maybe it was skype) about how horrible the game runner was for daring to close this game that the complainers had put WORK into and so she owed them the game it self so they could keep going, ect…" it was just…i dunno. the attacks attacked her RL, her (personal, not game) character, ect. it was just really ugly. And I thought it was a one off but I know it’s happened many times, i just haven’t seen all the ugliness because I don’t like to join game discords because they stress me out.
why the fuck is this even a thing.
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@Coin i appreciate the apology. i debated whether to say anything about the keep sweet stuff, because it is very raw for me due to background and currently dealing with why can’t you just be nice so they won’t be uncomfortable stuff being slung at me personally (i know that here it was done pretty impersonally) due to me speaking up about certain things after someone else makes a really offensive statement. But i am trying to be better about speaking up about it in other areas too. i should have replied directly to the post, but my habit is to use the general reply button.
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I too wish we could all just get along but sometimes somebody’s being a shithead. Like-- you can’t just be kind to people being a shithead. It exhausts you and amuses the shithead.
I have spent hours and hours of my life bending over backwards trying to be nice to people who were intent on being shitheads and generally the result was that I spent hours and hours of emotional labor on people who could not have cared less about me or the impact on me.
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Maybe this is why my hips and back hurt so much lately. Bending over for shitheads…
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@sao said in MU Peeves Thread:
I too wish we could all just get along
That’d be so fucking boring. Disagreements, arguments, conflict… that’s the spice of life, the only way we as a species advance. And sometimes you’ve gotta punch a fuckhead.
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@mietze said in MU Peeves Thread:
@Pyrephox yeah. i think i have such an aversion to that attitude because it’s just so…myopic. especially since usually i’ve found the same people who have some weird entitlement to a game not closing because they’re not wanting it to are also often the first to complain about the lack of new games for them to try. with absolutely no sense of irony.
It feels like another version of shitting on someone for…idk daring to try and do something. Which I have less and less patience for is the nicest way I can say it, but the ‘daring to try and do something that wasn’t perfect and you can maybe learn from the next time’ is…idk do people not want people to make games? Is that the lesson here?
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Wow.
I’m not sure which point to hit or not. Really, to be fair I’m about standing up when standing up is needed. I always say be kind go read almost every post I’ve made.
I’m not going to address the assumptions about me because you don’t know me, but wow.
I, as a person, thought we were looking at a personal attack and I thought (maybe I thought wrong) that we were avoiding doing that here. That is all. I also said you could disregard it.
However, I know that’s a trigger for you to ask people to be kind, so I will try to keep that in mind when next posting.
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@RightMeow what assumptions were made about you? honestly asking, not attacking. from my skim of this, it seemed mostly to be people saying ‘i don’t like this general behavior’.
but there’s a lot of concurrent conversations and i am not really invested, so i am honestly asking to see if there was something i missed.
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Probably one of the wildest things about this forum is the general disregard for decorum. To me that’s part of what makes it fun as entertainment but I have also operated under the assumption that most people who leaned into that were also aware of how going ham on internet strangers and embracing axiomatic thinking looks from the outside. Think I may have been wrong about that lol
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I missed a BIG word in there. That was my bad, but I’ll leave the post because I can admit missing an important word. I missed ‘sometimes’ so when you skip a word that changes the meaning.
That’s why I was like daaaaaamn what did I do? I admit it. That was bad of me. I’m sorry.
This is a lot like when I was having an internet ‘disagreement’ and left out the word ‘not’ once. It happens.
Carry on. Sorry about that.
EDIT: I can also delete it if it hits feels or comes off as harsh when it was not what the original person intended towards me (I think).
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@shit-piss-love said in MU Peeves Thread:
the general disregard for decorum
It’s not disregard, we established our own decorum, which specifically flew in the face of the “keep the peace” kind of bullshit that gets people into the kinds of difficult situations we talk about.
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I do figure most people here have some pretty wild thoughts about other people on this forum, but generally don’t voice them because we like RPing together and decide it’s just easier to quietly tolerate each other’s bullshit.
Yknow, like any other dysfunctional family.
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@Pavel Great example! That is why I keep clicking the link every couple days, more if it’s getting spicy. I wouldn’t want y’all to change.
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@Testament said in MU Peeves Thread:
I do figure most people here have some pretty wild thoughts about other people on this forum, but generally don’t voice them because we like RPing together and decide it’s just easier to quietly tolerate each other’s bullshit.
Yknow, like any other dysfunctional family.
Or just a pond with more than one shark swimming around. The bitey kind of shark.
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I’m gonna gently suggest that it’s more like this forum has a lot of trauma survivors and gets the occasional screwball like Warma who knows how to come in and start pushing everyone’s buttons.
He’s just like, an even shittier Ghost, imo, because he seems self-aware about it to some larger ambiguous degree and it comes off as intentional.
You can make the points he’s made occasionally as legitimate points. But it just seems like that’s not his actual goal in joining the conversation most of the time.
Also anyone who would be in inuki/wizard/spookitypook/whatever’s corner is a fuckin’ weirdo, just saying. That was some weird, wild shit and I can absolutely see why someone would find it at least a little traumatizing?
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@Wizz said in MU Peeves Thread:
an even shittier Ghost
Nahhhh. If that were true, I’d have our lil resident War Machine on ignore already.
