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MU Peeves Thread
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If I greet people on channels, I greet everyone because I don’t want anyone to feel left out. Even if I don’t particularly like someone, I still often project that they’ll feel bad because no one responded. This impulse has definitely gotten me into trouble/attention by people I’d rather not have, so I try to stay quiet more often than not and jump into conversations in media res.
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now that i avoid using clients, i am super spacy on channels because I don’t see them pop up unless I look at a certain menu.
on the one hand i don’t worry if people don’t say anything to me back, but i don’t want to make people feel bad either. hopefully they forgive me!
sometimes this thing really trips me up, because it’s also the case i like pinging people to say hi or something dumb or whatever but i know that’s often seen as not okay or bothersome too (and i try to avoid it at all on my male pcs in particular because well, i had to deal with all those weird creeping mfers too).
so i worry but also tend to slip up frequently when squirrel brain activates. i hope if anyone really feels like i hurt them or was ignoring them and it was really bothering them (vs just a little annoyance like we all get over stuff we don’t always super care about), it’s okay to tell me because i want to know and would try to do better (though honestly keeping up with channel might be too much so it’d be a hi in pages!)
But someone snapping and trying to control my behavior to make me do some blanket thing to everyone or no one, that seems a bit controlling and gross, and I can see why that would feel super ick, I’d probably feel the same way with someone wagging finger/policing me like that!
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@mietze said in MU Peeves Thread:
now that i avoid using clients, i am super spacy on channels because I don’t see them pop up unless I look at a certain menu.
This did happen to me waaay before Ares. I hope nowadays people can be even more forgiving because for the most part if I’m only on the portal I’m not monitoring channels AT ALL.
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@Snackness i do think that there’s a number of people that use that sort of thing as a control issue.
Keeping people in line, trying to make them feel unsure, or like they’re inconsiderate and nobody will like them now that they’ve done x thing in public, ect.
It’s just straight up manipulative control freak yuck!!
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I remember a drama about channel greetings and people feeling super left out because some people got lots of greetings and others didn’t and even at the time I found it depressing because a lot of the time it was just about timing and noticing someone log on while actively paying attention as opposed to being identity specific and half the time I only notice someone was online when I see their disconnect message.
I think ten years is probably about right. I don’t think snackness and I were even on the same game though, I think the hobby just gets like this sometimes.
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And I’m not ASD, I swear,
This phrase gives me the ick. I’m assuming you don’t intend it negatively, but there is so much stigma around being autistic already that it would be really cool if we didn’t casually add to it.
I tend to greet people more often than not because I hate feeling invisible and I want people to know that they’re seen. That said, I try not to announce myself every time I log in because it sucks when THAT is ignored, and I generally only greet people who do say hi or give some indication that they want to be greeted, because not everyone has the connect/disconnect messages on, and maybe the quiet person doesn’t actually want to be perceived in that way.
Pretty much all of us have some communication baggage.
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Greetings, meatbags.
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I always find it a bit creepy when it is clear someone has someone else on watch and they start gushing over them on the channel when they log in, but haven’t even ; waved or said ‘hi’ yet.
It also kind of bums me out if I end up logging in day after day and get tumbleweeds, but there is very clearly a group that are friends and treat each other logging on like the second coming of Jesus or something.
Obviously there is nothing objectively wrong with these behaviours and people can say hi to who they want. But, it is a peeves thread and I am allowed to find the behaviour personally irritating, also!
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@Pacha Right! Obviously it’s normal to not be watching your screen 24/7 and just not greet everyone all of the time, but when there’s a severe difference in how they all caps fawn over one person and totally ignore another two minutes later it’s awkward, esp if it’s consistent. Like just say hi? lol
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@Pacha said in MU Peeves Thread:
there is very clearly a group that are friends and treat each other logging on like the second coming of Jesus or something
I’m so glad I’ve collected the kind of friends who generally barely acknowledge each other, especially immediately upon logging in.
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@Pacha said in MU Peeves Thread:
I always find it a bit creepy when it is clear someone has someone else on watch and they start gushing over them on the channel when they log in, but haven’t even ; waved or said ‘hi’ yet.
It also kind of bums me out if I end up logging in day after day and get tumbleweeds, but there is very clearly a group that are friends and treat each other logging on like the second coming of Jesus or something.
Obviously there is nothing objectively wrong with these behaviours and people can say hi to who they want. But, it is a peeves thread and I am allowed to find the behaviour personally irritating, also!
Seconding this. Sometimes I just need a minute to get my bearings, especially if I’m coming from work, dealing with the kids, trying to settle down myself. We’re no longer in the glomps era. The age of glomp is over, the time of “hey” has come.
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I like a good meowdy
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@catzilla said in MU Peeves Thread:
I like a good meowdy
Only greeting I’m responding to from now on.
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I do wish there were a way to tag people in Ares so it gives them a channel notification.
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I am just not the sort of person to greet newcomers like a Labrador Retriever aggressively licking your face.
I’m more like an old tortoiseshell cat who’s in the house… somewhere. And will probably notice your presence within the hour, or when you shake the treat bag.
You guys are socialising in channels? That’s wild.
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I enjoy socializing in channels! I will usually say hi if I happen to be looking at it. Admittedly, on Ares, I often am not looking at it. Or I’m distracted. So it’s a bit of a shotgun friendliness punctuated by long periods of doing something else.
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yeah, like I will absolutely say HI to 3 people and then immediately leave the keys for any amount of time, so it’s always going to be sporadic.
I def get the other side, sometimes I also get that whole ‘ok but why not me am i not fun’ and then I have to remind myself of all the contradicting evidence
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@hellfrog said in MU Peeves Thread:
yeah, like I will absolutely say HI to 3 people and then immediately leave the keys for any amount of time, so it’s always going to be sporadic.
I def get the other side, sometimes I also get that whole ‘ok but why not me am i not fun’ and then I have to remind myself of all the contradicting evidence
This is a big thing. I absolutely do this myself, even though I know a) it’s not true, and it’s b) me actively ruining my own enjoyment over things I am making up in my head.
My peeve really is me.
